Goodbye To You
by goatsandboats
Summary: James loves Lily so much, he'll do anything for her. Songfic to Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch.
1. Goodbye To You

**Goodbye To You **

**AN:** This is a songfic to "Goodbye To You" by Michelle Branch. It's such an awesome song and you should listen to it while you read this story. Also, the first group of lyrics somehow won't get centered, even though I push the center button thing, so that's why the first set of lyrics is off to side and none of the others are. I don't necessarily think James and Lily's relationship was like this, but I had this idea in my head and I was listening to the song, so I just wrote it. Hope you enjoy and please review!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything you recognize.

* * *

_Of all the things I've believed in  
I just want to get it over with  
Tears form behind my eyes  
But I do not cry  
Counting the days that pass me by_

The rained poured down, like an endless stream of water. On the Astronomy Tower, stood James, looking up at the dark grey clouds. Rain came down, but he didn't feel a drop. He was thinking about yesterday. Yesterday, Lily slapped him once again, but it hurt more than usual…

_I've been searching deep down in my soul  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
It feels like I'm starting all over again  
The last three years were just pretend  
And I said,_

James felt the pain as she brought her hand to his face. It started to turn red immediately. James started to feel it becoming a red hot numbing sensation.

"Why would you think that I would go out with you, when I've told you a million times! NO!" Lily screamed at James. There was a crowd of people staring at the two, however, James and Lily did not notice any of these people.

James, still recovering from Lily's excruciating slap, started to explain, "Lily, it…"

"Ugh. Don't even try to explain this one! I hate you! I wish you would just die!" And with that, Lily turned on her heel and stormed away.

The students started whispering to each other, trying to figure out what just happened. In shock, James stood there, not sure of what to do. As the crowd soon dispersed, James still stood there silently. And to no one in particular, he whispered, so soft that no one would hear him unless they were right next to him, "Your wish is my command."

_Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to_

James shuddered. That was yesterday, but it felt like five minutes ago. James could still feel where Lily slapped him. It was like that spot was on fire and it would never be put out. James knew it was stupid, but it felt like he had no choice. James loved Lily from the moment he saw her in their first year. He would do anything to please Lily, anything she said. Even this…

_I still get lost in your eyes  
And it seems that I can't live a day without you  
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away  
To a place where I am blinded by the light  
But it's not right_

James looked around. The rain was coming down harder and harder, and James was getting wetter and wetter. But it didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore, except Lily. James was only doing this because of what Lily said. James shivered and thought he saw something move.

He turned to see what or who it was but sighed dejectedly, '_Of course it's just a tree branch_,' he thought, '_I shouldn't have kept my hopes up, I know_ _it will never be her_.' James turned towards the edge of the tower and looked straight ahead. He was preparing to say goodbye…

_Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to_

A gust of wind blew by James. It made James look around again. Of course it was stupid, but he wished Lily would come up to the Astronomy Tower and save him. James took a deep breath, he could feel his hands shake. However, he had wished for a lot of things in the past, but they have never came true.

_And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine  
I want you  
But I'm not giving in this time  
_

James wondered what Lily would do when she sees him. Would she rejoice? Would she cry? Would she smirk and say "About time?" James wished he could be there to see her expression, but knew that was impossible. James took a step towards the edge.

_Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
_

Lily was his first love, his true love. He wanted to marry her and live together for the rest of their lives. James closed his eyes, and thought of Lily. James thought of her fiery red hair, almost like flames when the sun hits it just right. Next, he pictured her vibrant emerald green eyes, like pools of green jewels that sparkled when she laughed or even when she was fighting with him. That was one of the reasons why James argued with Lily so much, just to see her eyes twinkle and sparkle. She will never know the true reason why they fought so much…

_And when the stars fall  
I will lie awake  
You're my shooting star_

James looked down. Then James looked to the sky, "Goodbye, my love," he whispered. He closed his eyes and jumped…


	2. After All

AN: Well I was going to post a second chapter sooner but I didn't have any good ideas and then I was really busy with school and excuses excuses... Now the second part is finally up! I don't like the ending but it's the best I can think of (considering it's been almost a year since I wrote the first chapter). It's not quite what people are expecting I suppose...

* * *

Lily couldn't sleep. There was something nagging her, but she didn't know what. The rain pounded on the dormitory window, it felt like the window was going to shatter into a million little pieces. She tossed and turned. _Why can't I fall asleep?_ Lily sat up. It seemed like the rain was calling to her. It was late, Lily gave up on sleeping tonight. She wanted to go for a walk, it sounded crazy, but she didn't care. She needed to get out of this room, it was driving her crazy. 

Quietly, she got out of bed, and put on a sweatshirt, jeans, and an old pair of sneakers. She slipped out of the room and walked down the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. No one was there. Lily was grateful for that. She wasn't one to go out of the common room after hours. In fact, it almost felt like an out of body experience. As she made her way out of the common room and down many stairs to get to the Entrance Hall, she thought…

James Potter. He's been on her mind recently, and she slapped him yesterday. But why?

_Lily was angry. She raised her arm and as it flew in the air, it collided with James' cheek. She could her the crispness of her slap. Did I slap him too hard? It's getting red awfully fast. Oh this is James frickin' Potter! It's not supposed to matter. She shook all thoughts of pitying James out of her head. _

"_Why would you think that I would go out with you, when I've told you a million times! NO!" Lily screamed at James. There was a crowd of people staring at the two, however, they did not notice any of these people. _

_James, still recovering from Lily's excruciating slap, started to explain, "Lily, it…"_

_And this is the part where he tries to explain, but fails miserably and just make me even more furious. "Ugh. Don't even try to explain this one! I hate you! I wish you would just die!" And with that, Lily turned on her heel and stormed away. _

Looking back, Lily might have been too harsh on James. After all, she hadn't seen him since. She didn't even know why she got that upset with him. _Maybe…I'm starting to like him?_ Lily shuddered. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. But maybe it is…

Lily arrived at the Entrance Hall, in what only seemed like a few minutes._Wow. That was surprisingly easy, I didn't get caught at all!_ Lily went outside and walked onto the soaking wet grass. Her shoes squeaked underneath her. The rain was pelleting down on her, making her soaked in mere seconds, making her wish that she wore a sweatshirt with a hood.

Shivering, she didn't know what to do. So she decided to walk around the castle for a few minutes, she didn't know how longer she could stand the rain, however, it felt like she craved it. Lily trudged along, her breath noticeable in the cold air. She thought more about James.

In the darkness of the night, she saw a figure fall from a tower. Before she could think, Lily pulled out her wand and muttered a spell to slow the body down. It was lucky she had her wand, but then again, they were coming into dark times and not having your wand is suicide. Lily briskly walked to the figure. She saw messy hair, round glasses. There was only one person this could be. She reached the body, it was James Potter. But why would James jump off the astronomy tower, the highest tower of Hogwarts? Luckily, Lily found a pulse. James was not dead. Lily started pacing, going over the possible reasons why James' might've jumped. Someone pushed him? He found a spell that could make you fly and was trying it out? He was trapped and that was the only way out? He wanted to die?

Lily heard a groan. She turned and found James slowly opening his eyes.

"James, er, Potter, are you okay?"

"Li…Lily, where am I?" James could only see blurred figures, seeing how the rain impaired his vision, however, he recognized Lily's voice. He would always be able to recognize that wonderful voice.

"You are on Hogwarts grounds. You fell from the Astronomy Tower. Are you okay?" Lily sat on the ground, next to him, not caring if her pants got completely soaked. James groaned.

"Damn it." James coughed and slowly made his way up into the sitting position.

"James? James, are you okay?"

"What the hell? Why am I here?"

"Er…Potter, I saw you falling and I slowed your landing…" Lily trailed off. She slowly put two and two together. "You didn't want me to save you. You wanted to…you wanted to die." Lily looked up at James. Even though it was dark and pouring rain, Lily could see that James was nodding his head. "What? Potter, er, James! Wha…why?" Tears welled up in Lily's eyes, shocked that James would even do such a thing. It seemed so peculiar that James would do such a thing.

"You hate me." Lily almost didn't catch the quiet comment.

"So you were going to kill yourself?"

"Lily, you mean the world to me. I would do anything…" James still had more to say but he just couldn't get the words out. He looked at the ground and slowly made his way into looking at Lily's beautiful green eyes. And somehow Lily understood what he was trying to say.

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A final AN: Okay okay, I just couldn't kill him off. I do have a half-written version wear he does die. If anyone wants that, mention it in a review and I can PM you with it or something. Hope you enjoyed it. 


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